"RoseGarden" - - - - - - - from - nscave

Well they followed me to my winter destination. From some previous posts you know my routine. Since they choose to waste my time, I choose to see how much I can waste of theirs.

First Call   (much edited to shorten, names changed to protect the guilty)

Caller: "Sir I am calling from Computer Solutions. We have detected your computer is causing much errors on the internet and it has to be corrected. My name is HoJo and I am here to help you.

Me: "I appreciate that, I am always concerned if my computer is causing errors. First I have some questions."

Caller: "What question do you have, your computer is causing errors or it will crash. It is causing much trouble on the internet."

Me: "First of all, if my computer is causing errors as you say, you have to tell me which one."

Caller: "Which one, it doesn't matter. It is causing errors that have to be corrected."

Me: "If my computer is causing errors as you say, and you have detected that, you should be able to tell me which one, the IP address, its MAC address and which operating system."

Caller: "It doesn't matter which one. They all have the same IP address, you are using the same internet connection okay, they are all the same."

Me: "I am, they are? I'll tell you a secret, I have more than one computer, I have more than one internet connection, among other things."

Caller: "How many computer you have? You running cyber cafe or something?"

Me: "That's none of your business. If you are detecting errors from my computer, you should be able to tell me which one it is and the operating system."

Caller: "It the Windows 7 one, Windows 7, Windows 7."

Me: "They are all Windows 7, or something else."

Shuffling noise, and voice #2 comes online.

Voice #2: "Sir, this is Heff, your computer is causing severe errors, what is your question."

Me: "Your cohort is telling me about errors and I want you to tell me which computer it is. IP, MAC address, operating system, for a start."

Voice #2: "You don't need all that information, you are producing bad errors on the internet and it needs to be fixed."

Me: " Well give me the information then, because I don't think you work for MS or anyone. I am well experienced in computers, and I know none of my computers are producing errors."

Voice #2: "How do you know that? I didn't say I work for MS. I said we have computer solutions, and are contracted to work for MS on their behalf. What sort of computer technician are you? Tell me that. Tell me how you check for errors."

Me: "I'm an expert! Your pal indicated you worked for MS. I certainly won't tell you anything about how I check for errors. You are the one telling me. Tell me which computer it is. I certainly won't tell you anything about the security of my equipment on my end, its none of your business."

Voice #2: "You're wasting my f&^%*$# time! You're an a-hole"......click!

Well I did. That's my mission you see, how long can I keep you on the line. Total time 35 minutes.

That's part I for today. Be sure to come back tomorrow for Part II. They called back an hour later. This time my lady took over. She did much better than I did, even beat my time, you will like it.

This work by NSCAVE is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License