"RoseGarden" - - - - - - - from - nscave

You must have tried those. You know, self serve gas pumps, where you zip in, use your card, zip out and be on your way.

 

Zap! Hardly ever works. For me anyhow.

 

Today I went to a major gasoline retailer in my region.

 

Self Serve

 

I pull up beside the self serve pump and there’s this red thingy sticking out of the credit card slot. Fine print, “Sorry this card reader is out of service. Sorry for the inconvenience.”

 

Move Around Do Not Pass Go

 

Okay fine, restart, move to the other side of the pump island. No problem, card slot is open. No thingy attached.

 

Credit card. Remove quickly. Air miles card. Remove quickly.

 

Remove nozzle, select grade, squeeze handle. Replace handle when finished.  (Duh!)

 

You Need A Receipt?

 

Finished, cap on, turn around and the display says: “Your receipt is inside.”

 

Huh? Boy that sure speeds things up.

 

Inside I go, and when its my turn the young lady behind the counter says: “Sorry about that, it hasn’t been working for awhile. Kinda defeats the purpose of a self serve doesn’t it?”

 

Well that station gets a brownie point, cause they have mind readers, as well as card readers. Bonus!

 

Self Serve

 

At another major retailer I got one of these do-mah-jiggys called a speed pass awhile back.

 

My previous fill-up I go to one of their pumps.

 

Speed pass doesn’t work at this pump it says.

 

Move Around Do Not Pass Go

 

Okay fine, restart, move to the other side of the pump island.

 

The little symbol lights up. Great it works.

 

Remove nozzle, select grade, squeeze handle. Replace handle when finished.  (Duh! Again.)

 

You Need A Receipt?

 

Finished, cap on, turn around and the display says: “If you need a receipt, please go inside and see an attendant.”

 

I always need a receipt, so the trek to inside begins again, only this time there are people buying lotto tickets, coffee, and one was just asking questions about next week’s local show. 

 

Five people later, I get to say, “ I need a receipt for pump 3.”

 

So I am thinking as I drive away. Well that’s got to be better than when I got gas the time before that.

 

Eliminate the Extras – That’s Fast

 

That time I got to fill up pretty quickly.

 

Reason – that pump didn’t have a dang thing on it. No card slot, no speed pass circle, nothing!

 

But when you finish you have to go inside - - - wait for it - - - To Use Your SpeedPass!

 

Some days are diamonds, and some days you wish you could just pass gas!

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This work by NSCAVE is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License