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Outhouse Out Back

You've heard all those stories and seen the cartoons about the out house with the star cut out on the door. Well down on the farm it was true, all except for the star cut out. The generations today just don’t get the experience with all their text phones and “done-for” convinces.

The Wall

Much like Facebook, sometimes written comments or The Simpsons, Sears and Eatons catalogue pictures were on the wall in all their glory. (Yes they were separate businesses then.)  The lingerie section was the closest we came to Playboy in those days. These pictures were always put on in layers, in case you needed to change scenery, or in case you ran out of that special pepper spice. (Toilet pepper!)

Doubles

One thing I could never figure out – most of these outhouses had two seating positions. Did they ever get used at the same time? Who would you invite for such a personal visit? Better yet, who would accept such an invitation? Adds special meaning to social interaction when you think about it.

Weather Check

Now the summertime outhouse visits weren't too bad. Cool breezes blew where you couldn't touch, or weren't supposed to. As long as it wasn’t humid, the experience was bearable.

I could never figure out why the doors would never latch properly, and why the seat was always positioned just slightly more than arms length from the door. Even the calmest day or night always had a breeze strong enough to gently propel the door open.

On the other hand, winter visits were much different, especially in the middle of the night. The cool pleasant breezes turned into icy blasts of lower torture. Out houses were always located a couple hundred feet or more from the living quarters for obvious reasons. I think during cold weather was when the term feet per second was invented.

I won't even mention the annual emptying of the den below. Biodegradable started long before sundown in the fifties.

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