"RoseGarden" - - - - - - - from - nscave

I missed this important call last week, I must have been out. Was glad to get it this week at my second home, because this time it was an emergency call.

Heavy Accent: “This is an emergency call from MS central tech services. Who am I speaking to?”

Me: “Who did you call? Who did expect?”

Heavy Accent: “(Gives my name).”

Me: “Then that’s who you got.”

Heavy Accent: “It has been detected your XP computer is creating a lot of problems, it is an emergency, that you get it fixed immediately. On the internet your computer is causing errors which is very bad. Very bad emergency for you, and for others. Okay?”

Me: “My computer is causing errors? Which one?”

Heavy Accent: “Sir, I already told you, your XP computer is causing errors. These errors are like a virus and stuff and get into your hard drive and motherboard and can cause big problems. It must be fixed right away. You have Microsoft operating system, and we can tell if it produces errors, because when you register windows operating system it lets us know its your computer. Your computer sends out these errors and we detect them. Your computer is connected to a router okay? And it is the same IP as your computer, so very bad. Your computer is running slow, and it can have bad crash.”

Me: “Hold on a minute. (Interrupting) Listen to me for a minute. You say my XP computer is causing errors?”

Heavy Accent: “Yes, your windows operating system. XP.”

Me: “I don’t have XP. If you are saying my computer is causing errors, you need to tell me which one and which operating system.”

Heavy Accent: “Which system you have?”

Me: “You called and said my XP computer was causing emergency errors. Right? If my computer is causing errors, you should be able to tell me which one, and what operating system it is.”

Heavy Accent: “Okay okay, hold on a minute and I will email my supervisor technician, okay? He will verify which one. You hold on? (Sound of pounding on the keyboard keys, not typing, but abnormal key activity. The line goes quiet, I hang up.)

In 3 minutes phone rings again, same Heavy Accent.

Heavy Accent: “Hello, we got disconnected. I emailed my supervisor technician and he verified your windows operating 7 computer is definitely causing bad errors. Important it be fixed right away. If it gets into your mother board it would be very bad. You understand?”

Me: “I understand you told me my XP computer was causing errors, and now you switch to 7. You haven’t told me which one. I have one question.”

Heavy Accent: “Your ..yes your windows 7 is causing errors, verified by my supervisor technician.”

Me: “ Listen and answer my question. I was just talking to MS and their caller ID said MS. How come yours is blocked?”

Heavy Accent: “Huh? who were you talking to? What was his name?”

Me: “Doesn’t matter what his name is, its Reggie if it matters.”

Heavy Accent: “Reggie? You were talking to Reggie!”

Me: “I want to tell you something. I am a computer technician, and a good one. My computer is not causing any errors. If you are detecting that my computer is causing errors, then its your computer that’s causing the errors, not mine.”

{Insert loud click followed by silence.}

The things I do for entertainment, I must lead a dull life - - - waiting for call number 8.

This work by NSCAVE is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License