"RoseGarden" - - - - - - - from - nscave

Yesterday: 435-319-0446 Calling – over a month since your last call, I missed you.

 

This is similar to the other calls except for one thing. Mr. Supervisor thinks a MAC address is a Mac computer.

 

Him: “I’m calling from technical services to tell you we have been receiving errors from your com-put-er. We are authorized to repair this for you. Is very bad, these errors. Could cause your computer to crash anytime.”

Me: “Thank you so much. I would be very concerned about something like that. I am glad you can help me.”

 

Him: “Is very bad you know. Your computer can crash anytime with damage. Could get you a virus or something you know. These errors and things can get installed on your computer and you don’t even know it.”

 

Me: “Wow, I am sure glad you called to help me out.”

 

Him: “What we have to do, is get your computer on, and you allow me to hook up to it. No problem, is perfectly safe. You can see everything I am doing when I apply the fix. You watch on your monitor okay?”

 

Me: “Great, sounds good. I only need you to tell me which computer it is.”

 

Him: “Windows, windows, turn on any of your windows computers, it doesn’t matter which one. The errors will come on all of them.”

 

Me: “I don’t think so. You need to tell me exactly which computer it is.”

 

Him: “No any computer, it doesn’t matter. Its your connection that’s the problem. The errors come in on your service. You have only one connection right?”

 

Me: “You are wrong there. I have more than one connection, more than one computer. I need the ip address and the MAC address of the computer that is causing errors.”

 

Him: “Its your connection that we have to fix. That’s where the errors come from. Your connections are all from the same provider right?”

 

Me: “No I have more than one provider. I do that for backup.”

 

Him: “You do that for backup? Two connections, not from one company, two. Okay you hold on okay? I get supervisor. I’m not able to handle this. You wait okay? You hold okay, okay?”

 

Me: “Sure, I’ll be here as long as you want me to. I need those errors fixed.”

 

The phone goes dead, clicks multiple times, goes dead again, line opens several times with typical call centre background noise, then silent, then…

Supervisor: “Hello sir, how are you today. This is John.”

 

Me: “Not so good. You cohort has been telling me my computer is sending you errors, but is unable to tell me which one, or which connection.”

 

Supervisor: “Doesn’t matter. Its your Windows computer, I will give you ID number to prove that what we are seeing is your computer. It will show you that for sure.” (Rambles on and on.)

 

Me: “Sir! Excuse me! LISTEN! WILL YOU LISTEN TO ME! Thank you. I don’t need this conversation again and again. If you detect my computer sending out errors, you need to give me three things. One, an ip address. Two, the MAC address of the computer or equipment involved, three the operating system.”

 

Supervisor: “I will give you ID number for your computer. That will tell you its yours.” (Gives a long long number with dashes and some letters.)

 

Me: “Sir you are giving me a number that all windows computers have. I’m not that friggin’ dumb. Get it? So lets start over again. First give me the IP  number for my computer involved.”

 

Supervisor: “I not give you IP number. I can’t. That’s  private. We can’t give out that information.”

 

Me: “I need the IP for the internet connection, and the MAC address of the computer involved.”

 

This is where it gets really good, best one yet.

 

Supervisor: “Never mind your MAC computer, use a windows one. Its windows not the MAC computer.”

 

Me: “MAC address has nothing to do with the type or brand of the computer.”

 

Supervisor: “Just turn on your windows computer. Never mind MAC. We don’t do MAC computers. Use windows – windows.”

 

Me: “You don’t even know what a MAC address is do you? A MAC address stands for ‘Media Access Control’ a number that every computer has, every cell phone has, every tablet has. There are no two alike. It has absolutely nothing to do with Mac Computers or any other brand name. It is an identifying number for that particular piece of equipment only. Mac Computers have it, so does every other one out there. For a supervisor it seems you don’t have a clue what you are talking about.”

 

Supervisor: “I’ll get that information. I’ll prove to you what I’m saying. You’ll see. You - just hang on one moment while I get it.”

The phone goes dead, comes alive with the call centre background noise again, then goes silent for good.

 

 

Message to that Supervisor: Don’t bother with that information. You already proved what you are saying. I got it after the first hello.

 

Total call time: 22 minutes. Not the record, but not bad. Next time I will do better. I promise.

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This work by NSCAVE is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License