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Friday, September 27, 2013

They Called My Name

Caution - not fully 'G' rated.

(Continuing Series)

Sort of. I was beginning to wonder if I had been forgotten, but my computer virus call finally arrived.

Me: "Hello,...Hello... pause... Hello..."

Miz Accent: "Hello? How are you today?"

Me: "Fine."

Miz Accent: "That's good. Reason I am calling your computer is transmitting many errors to us here at Microsoft. Unknown to you, your computer has probably downloaded a virus that is causing these errors. Okay? You got that?"

Me: "Huh? Yeah, I guess so." (This one is a newbie. Reading from a script.)

Miz Accent: "This errors is very bad and we are going to help you with that. I am thinking you are the owner of the computer in your household, correct?"

Me: "I could be."

Miz Accent: "You are, right?"

Me: "Well yes, I suppose I am."

Miz Accent: "And I would say you are sitting in front of your computer right now with it on. Am I right?"

Me: "I could be. I didn't say that though."

Miz Accent: "You are though, correct? These errors, this virus really bad."

Me: "Okay, if you are telling me my computer is producing errors, and sending them to you, you have to tell me which computer it is. Which operating system?"

Miz Accent: "It is Windows XP, Vista, Windows 7 or 8." (Nice script.)

Me: "Are you kidding me? If you say my computer is producing errors, tell me which one, and which operating system. I have more than one."

Miz Accent: "I don't care about operating systems. Just look at your main computer. Want me to give you the SID number? I give you SID number."

Me: "No! What I want is the MAC address of the computer and its operating system for a start. MAC stands for Media Access Control number, in case you need to know what that is."

Miz Accent: "I don't have access number. I have SID number."

Me: "Every computer has a SID number. Some of them the same. I want the information I asked for."

Miz Accent: "I'll give you SID number of your computer. You want SID number of your computer? Here is your SID number, mark it down. Its (spelling) M-O-T-H-E-R F-*-$-K*R! You got that? You're a Mother F*$k*r." <Repeated – three times.>

Me: "So are you, but we are not talking about you..."

Click! Buzzzzzzz....<silence>

I was very sorry I didn't have more time to draw this out a little longer. My supper was ready.