"RoseGarden" - - - - - - - from - nscave

They just don’t get it. They keep calling and calling. I wasn’t as patient as I usually am. This time I only kept them on the line 10 minutes. I was tired.

 

 

East: “I am calling from Microsoft su-pport services. We detected your computer is vey bad yes? It ees sending out bad infor-mation on internet, yes?”

 

Me: "I am glad you are able to tell me that? Who are you again?"

 

East: "Yes I am calling from Microsoft support services you see. Your computer, your inter-net, is sending out bad i-formation, bad things you know. It has bad virus lots 'o error you know."

 

Me: "No I was not aware of that. Please tell me which computer it is."

 

East: "Is your windows computer, windows. Has virus and it - we must be fixed immediately."

 

Me: "I know you are telling me my computer is sending out errors. Before we can fix it you need to tell me which one it is. If you can detect errors from my machine, you can tell me which computer it is, the operating system and the IP address. I have more than one."

 

East: "How many computers you 'ave?"

 

Me: "It doesn't matter, you only need to tell me which machine it is. If you can detect errors from my computer, surely you can tell me which one?"

 

East: "Sure I can. Is your windows computer. Your win-dow-s computer. Your internet connection, we know that. We have identified it, and it needs to be fixed right away."

 

Me: "All I'm waiting for sir is the identification of which computer is at fault, its operating system and the IP address. Then we can get right to work. I say again, if you are telling me my computer is producing errors on the internet, then it should be easy for you to tell me which one it is."

 

East: "You're a computer technician, right?

 

Me: "I could be. Or I could be a person that is really advanced in computer knowledge, you choose."

 

East: "I'm telling you. Your computer is producing much errors, and we can prove it. We can identify it, no difficulty. We have your computer's ID tag along with errors it produces. You want ID."

 

Me: "I certain do. That's what I have been asking you all  along. I want which computer it is, the operating system and the IP number."

 

East: "You don't need IP number, we h’ave  computer ID."

 

Me: "I need all of that information, I have more than one computer, more than one internet connection, and more than one operating system."

 

East: "Okay I give ID, okay?"

 

Me: "Yes!"

 

East: "Okay you ready?" (Gives a really l-o-n-g number of figures and letters.)
"You got it? Can you know how to check that on your computer?"

 

Me: "Do you think I'm dumb? You just gave me a number that is in the registry of every computer that runs Windows since Windows 95 days."

CLICK!

I hope everyone realizes these are scam calls. May as well have some fun though – see how long you can keep them online…

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This work by NSCAVE is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License